James Lee Stanley

I had an interesting thing happen at a house concert a little while ago.    It was a town in which I have many friends, and several of the friends wanted to know if there was a guest list and were they on it.    One friend not only wanted to get he and his fiance in free, but he wanted me to sing for free at his upcoming wedding.   So let us talk about this "friends getting in free" thing.

First of all, when you begin to play it is only your friends that are coming to the gigs, and the gigs are usually free to the audience.   So perhaps they get the mind set there that whenever they see you they should get in free.   Perhaps they were in the music business during it's hay day and were always extended complimentary attendance, so they are still in that mind set.

Here is what you as a friend, audient, or patron of an artist's work should always consider:

1. Does the artist do this for a living?

2. Is the artists income impacted by my coming in free?

3. Does the artist owe me big time?

4. Do I believe that what this artist is doing is actually worthwhile?

5. What is the size of the venue?

6. What is the cost of staging the concert and how much of that is the burden of the artist?

Question 1 is easy to answer, if it's yes then, yes (Question 2) you are impacting their income.  

If it is a ten thousand seat arena (Question 5), then it shouldn't be a problem for the promoter to give the artist a certain number of passes.    But remember that the promoter will give out a lot less passes than the artist has friends, and be gracious and patient as you wait for the artist's agonizing decision as to where the tickets go.

If it is a 50 seat capacity house concert then you are seriously impacting the artist's income.    He or she needs those fifty seats filled with paying customers to make it worth the artist's efforts.   If you cannot or don't think you should pay the door charge/donation, then don't go.

Even if the artist does owe you big time (Question 3), give the artist room to be gracious and tell you, they've got enough on their minds without the sixteen phone messages you left asking if you can be on the door.

Question 4 is also easy to answer.  If you believe in what they are doing, then support it, be a patron of their art.  If you don't think they are all that good but you are friends, support the free gigs and don't go to the paying ones--we'll catch on.

Question 6 is about what the artist did to create the event and what it cost them in time, effort, planning, financial outlay and practice.   All this is their responsibility, of course, but if you believe in the artist then your ticket is the most valuable contribution you can make to their efforts and it reinforces their belief in their effort and their art.   That's a nice thing to do if you are really friends, and that's another question to ask yourself, are you really friends with the artist?    If so, what should you, as a friend do? 

When attendance is light, pay your way, it's the class thing to do,  if the artist has sold out the Pauley Pavillion, then damn right you should get a free ticket.   What are friends for if they won't help when they can?

No artist can believe that you actually value what they do if you always ask to get in free to their shows, if you are special to the artist, they will let you know as best they can, but don't ask them to constantly demonstrate that friendship by not charging you.  

This is how we make our living.   No doctor, dentist, lawyer or surveyor ever just did the work for me for free because we were acquainted.   Sometimes they gave me a deal, but hey, I was willing to pay the fare and THEY decided to give me a break, I didn't ask for it.