James Lee Stanley

Do you ever feel  like you were a toy, devised by God, for the amusement of Him  and  his Crew?   

You get in your car, check that you have everything, put in your blue tooth, set up your ipod and all the while, not one car comes by.   But the moment that you go to back out of the driveway,  a car comes out of nowhere and you have to slam on the brakes to keep from dying.  

Your Bluetooth, ipod, phone, wallet, mail and everything in the backseat is now on the floor, the windshield and the back of your head.   You back out of the drive way and go fifteen feet to the light which is red…as usual.

You pull up to the light and it just hangs there at red…it just won’t change.    Finally as spiders are weaving webs around your entire car, and birds are getting stuck in the strands, the light goes green.  You drive ninety feet to the next light which turns red, all the while dragging birds and losing feathers.   

You are only going to the post office.  It’s only three miles, but in Los Angeles, that 713 redlights.  

You hit them all.

The postage machine won’t weight your packages, the line to the postal clerk’s window (there are 16 windows, but only one clerk) is three hundred yards long and everyone of them has a shopping cart full of packages. 

You stop at the market to pick up some  milk.    There are three cashiers open and one of them only has three people in line.   You go for it.    As someone steps in line behind you, the cashier calls for a manager.    Evidently the manager is in Paraguay and is traveling back by burro.

He finally arrives and as the next customer’s groceries begin to be rung  up, she discovers she left her wallet in the car…she’ll be right back.    Evidently her car is in Paraguay…under a burro.    She finally pays for her groceries, but cannot remember her phone number for her Ralphs Card discounts…O, wait…it’s in the car.

Your milk has curdled, your hair is falling out and you are so enraged you believe you could punch a nun.

That is the way the my morning started.   All those things happened.  I may have done a little exaggerating, but all those events took place.  I swear…wow, did I swear.

By the time I hit the next light, I was screaming at God.   Surely with all his power and all that is wrong with this world, he’s got something better to do than to futz with me?

Then after asking His forgiveness for cursing  Him, His Mother and his entire family, I started thinking, “okay, clearly God is trying to get my attention.    Perhaps He is trying to show me something, teach me something?”

I think when every single thing is going wrong for you, it’s time to stop, take a look around and try to figure out what you could learn by not following your agenda for a moment?  

In the past, I actually possessed the wisdom  to turn this kind of negative crapola around, but now that I’m older and more experienced, all I can come up with is rage and bewilderment.  

In the past, I would stop this kind of crapola dead in it’s tracks by simply doing something kind for someone else and not sticking around for any credit.   Just doing something for someone else, that has nothing to do with furthering any of your own agenda.   That works.    Everytime.

How come  I keep forgetting and then giving God the stink eye?