Sanctus Real

Does anyone have a tattoo?

I always thought they were cool. After all, I grew up on a healthy diet of rock n roll…I was required to like them, right? I never fell in love though like some of my real rocker friends. It was in their blood. Before they could drive a car they had elaborate tattoos plotted out. They knew exactly where they were going to put them, and as soon as they were 18 and had the money saved from their summer jobs, it was done. I was pretty envious when they came around with these creative and colorful murals imprinted on their arms, legs, chests, and backs. I was envious because I wasn’t cool enough. I could never pull that off. If I tried to be a tattoo guy, I would just look like a fool. And it would be evident for the rest of my life.

Deep inside though, I always hoped I could somehow squeak enough cool-points in to get a little something sketched somewhere. The fact that I just said  “cool-points” though is just more proof that this was never going to happen. Rule #1 about cool-points: you don’t talk about cool-points.

So since I couldn’t get a tattoo based on being cool, the only other reason I’d be allowed in the club is if getting a tattoo had some sort of personal significance, and for me, it had to have enough significance that when I looked at it 30 years from now, it’d still hit me with that same meaning. This purpose-driven tattoo sounds great in theory, but then I thought about my life. What has happened in my short time that’s large enough and momentous enough that its best memorial would be to etch it into my skin?

The image never came, so I just kept the idea of a tattoo on the backburner. For 28 years it stayed there until about a week ago, just relaxing in a chair at home, in the middle of a stretch and yawn, the revelation came to me. It appeared as quick as a flash.

Home.

Home has been a theme for exploring over the last few years in my life, as it’s been a difficult season to plant roots. I’m sure this has been amplified in part because of my profession of travel. As a result, I’ve had to basically fit home inside my backpack and suitcase and go where ever my schedule took me. I’m not complaining about this. I love to travel, and just like the Church is people, not a building, I believe that “home is where the heart is.” It’s a spiritual place, a state of mind. Home is where we rest, and as Christians, we rest in the arms of the Father. This can take place anywhere. Lately though, I’ve allowed myself to appreciate the fact that God gave humans the desire for home to be a physical place too. A place with a roof and a kitchen and a bed and dressers to put things in. Defining home has been the grand resolution of a long, mad season that has felt a lot like the last step in solving the Rubik’s Cube; more disjointed than ever, but with just a couple more crazy twists and turns, it’s finally resolved.

So I did it. With a solid idea of what home looks like, on my way out of town last week, I stopped at a shop and got a little tattoo. No matter where I travel or where I live, the person I have become and will continue to become…my faith, my family, my friends, my favorite pizza…tough lessons learned and the battles won that have shaped me…all of it will always be mapped according to and understood by this little graphic. It’s a reminder that as long as I’m on earth, wherever I go, wherever I live, however far off the beaten path I get, and wherever I end, this will always be where my little tangent originated. It’s my trail of breadcrumbs. All of it’s in there, and I couldn’t be happier to have the reminder.

Ps…If I had a soundtrack for this season (which I always do. Don’t we all?), “Bloodbuzz Ohio” would be the song that plays as the credits role. I listened to it like 10 times in a row before and after I got the tattoo. The mood of the song feels just like a journey to home and the lyric adds a personal accent since it’s about Ohio. There is a difference between their version and one I might sing though. I’m certain Ohio remembers, and I definitely think about love when I think about home. Also I married.